Caught in Your Head? Here’s How to be More Present

What does living in the present mean? 

Living in the present means being aware of your current situation and what is happening here and now.

You’re not drifting away in your past, reliving this particular embarrassing moment five years ago, or regretting any bad decisions you have made.

You’re not constantly thinking of future scenarios that might happen, and daydreaming about a future that “could be”.

Of course, it’s human to drift off in your thoughts sometimes and reliving a past moment and daydreaming about a possible future event. But if that happens all the time, you lose the connection to the present.

The benefits of being present 

We live in a very stimulating world where you receive information from all sides, whether through your phone, other people, or your thoughts and worries.

It seems like we are everywhere but not in the current moment: the present. It’s called “present” (=> reward) for a reason. Let’s dive into its benefits!

1. Feeling less stressed and more calm 

Focusing on the now means you’ve less time to worry or overthink about stressful situations, like work or school.

Picture this situation:

You’re done working the whole day, feel tired, and are on your way home on the bus. In your thoughts, you’re running through everything you still have to get done…

• There’s this assignment due next week
• There’s this big pile of clothes lying on your bed that needs to be folded
• There’s a dentist appointment tomorrow

All these things can’t be done right now. You can’t do the assignment on the bus, fold your clothes, or go to the dentist now.

But shifting your attention to everything you’ve to do takes away your current peace and makes you feel stressed.

Wouldn’t it be better to relax on your ride home? Maybe even closing your eyes and enjoying your free time without worrying about things you can’t influence?

2. Enjoying little things more

Being present allows you to see more than you usually would, and therefore, you can enjoy them.

• Have you ever walked slowly and mindfully through a street and simply observed your left and right?
• Have you ever consciously noticed the shops, the people, or the noises?

All of that can quickly disappear from our minds when we’re thinking about the past, the future, or other head scenarios.

But when you start to see the little things, it can easily lift your mood.

And that could be the smallest thing, like seeing some cute rabbits, some pretty growing flowers, or something bigger, like spontaneously finding a nice dress in a shop window.

Only when you start seeing these little things you walk past every single day without acknowledging them, you realize what you’ve missed.

3. Appreciation of what is taken for granted

Do you remember an event or a situation where you drifted away in your thoughts and therefore missed something important or valuable?

Picture these situations:

• You’re at school and the teacher is talking about boring stuff you’ll never need anyway. So, you think about what you could eat after school, what movies you could watch, and when your next hair wash day is.
• Or you’re eating with your family and spending some time together. But you’ve so much work to do, and keep running it through your mind without noticing what your family talks about.

By not being present, you miss what is in front of you. Sometimes you miss unnecessary stuff.

Sometimes you miss meaningful moments that seem to be meaningless right now. But thinking back to them after some time makes you realize how special they were.

4. Deeper connection with yourself

If we minimize the time we overthink, we suddenly get so much additional time. It can be spent on yourself.

Maybe you come up with new observations like:

• What do you like to do
• What you could try out new
• What you don’t like
• What do you honestly feel about a certain situation

You not only improve the relationship with yourself but also with other close people. By being in the moment, you can listen to others more deeply instead of getting lost in your thoughts.

Actionable steps to live in the now 

Once you decide for yourself that you want to be more present, you can start trying to focus on the here and now.

This can be challenging, so here are some easy steps you can follow to practice it.

1. Identifying if the thought needs your attention 

There are important things that should be on your mind, and there are unimportant things that have to leave your mind. How do we choose what is worthy of our attention?

I can’t give you a very clear answer, I think it always depends on the individual. But here are some questions that can help you find that out:

1. Can I change X by thinking about it?
2. How does thinking about X make me feel? Stressed? Anxious? Happy? Does thinking about X influence my current situation?

Here’s an example:

You just wrote an important exam at school and are worried about it. Were your answers correct? Did you make any mistakes? Your friend had completely different answers than you!

1. Can you change your exam results by thinking about them?

• No, you can’t. You already gave your exam to the teacher and there’s no way of getting it back now. You can only wait.

2. How does thinking about the exam make you feel?

• You feel stressed, worried, and unsure.

3. Does thinking about your exam influence your current situation?

• Yes, it does. You don’t feel very good and don’t focus on your environment. You almost walked into a person on your way home. Additionally, now you’ve to work for a few hours and can’t concentrate at all.

2. Constantly remind yourself 

It’s natural to drift away in your thoughts because it often happens unconsciously. But every time you actively catch yourself try to redirect your focus on the present.

It most likely looks like this:

• You unconsciously think about X
• You actively realize that you overthink about X
• You change your focus to something else

3. Shift your attention to the present 

Okay, so you catch yourself overthinking. And now what? How can you redirect your focus to the current moment?

You could start by observing your surroundings.

Look at the people around you, look at the sky above you, look at the trees next to you. What colors do they have? How does the air smell? There’s a lot to see!

Take a step back, take a deep breath, look around, and name the following things in your head:

• 5 things you can see
• 5 things you can hear
• 5 things you can feel
• 5 things you can smell

You can repeat this process as often as you want.

4. Journaling 

Journaling helps you connect with your thoughts and feelings. By writing about what goes on in your head, you get the chance to:

• Find suppressed feelings
• Let go of what holds you back
• Understand yourself better and more deeply
• Reflect on your current life and past
• Check in with yourself, your thoughts, feelings, and mood
• Practice gratitude
• Find out more about yourself by asking questions

5. Spending time doing what you love

When you do something you truly enjoy, time runs faster and you’re having fun. It seems like you’re connected with the current moment.

Pursuing an activity you like could be anything, for example:

• Spending time with your loved ones
• Going for a walk in nature
• Doing a sporty activity
• Reading your favorite book
• Cuddling with your cat

6. Meditation

Meditating helps you arrive in the present and focus on your body. Here’s a meditation guide you can follow.

• Find a quiet and comfortable place where no one is disturbing you
• You can sit on a cozy cushion or somewhere else, like on your bed or your chair
• Close your eyes, relax your shoulders, and let your hands fall naturally next to you
• Take a deep breath through your nose
• And then, slowly exhale through your mouth
• Simply observe how the air comes and leaves your body in its rhythms, how it feels when fresh air fills your lungs and leaves them without controlling or influencing it
• When thoughts come into your mind, allow them to come in and shift your focus back on your breath

Reminder 

Being present isn’t something everybody is naturally doing. But it can be learned. In the end, living in the moment is not about:

• Being present all the time, 24/7
• Beating yourself up because you drift away in your thoughts often
• Suppressing negative emotions because you think you need to be happy and only focus on the present
• Trying to go from overthinking constantly to being present all the time the next day

Living in the moment has many benefits, but you shouldn’t stress yourself out about being present all the time and immediately.

Take the steps mentioned above, read other articles, and enjoy the process.

Of course, situations are going to come where you overthink and worry about something. That’s fine!

It’s not about suppressing your feelings and focusing on something else instead. Embrace your emotions and feel them without putting them down.

My experience 

I struggle a lot with living in the present. I keep thinking about stuff I can’t control, and drift away in my thoughts easily. But now, I often catch myself while doing that, and therefore can shift my focus.

But I used to make the mistake of suppressing my emotions. If there was a situation that bothered me, I would tell myself to focus on something else, like my environment. And that left me feeling unwell and stressed.

That’s why I think when addressing the topic “How to live in the moment” it’s crucial to mention not to distract yourself from important thoughts and emotions.

Every time I experience a situation that makes me feel heavy emotions, I let myself feel it and additionally, work them out through brain dumping in my journal. And it helped me.

Conclusion 

• Being in the present means living in the here and now, without losing yourself in the past or the futur
• It allows you to be less stressed, enjoy the little things more, reconnect with yourself, and appreciate normal things and situations more
• To practice being present, you have to constantly remind yourself
• By catching yourself overthinking, you can redirect the focus to the current moment
• But that doesn’t mean you have to be present all the time, we’re not perfect, and drifting off in thoughts occasionally is normal

I hope you enjoyed today’s article! Are you struggling with living in the here and now? Do you know the feeling of daydreaming about your potential future?

Feel free to text me your answers and your feedback in the comments or write me an email via my contact page 😊

Read your soon, Lou.