Why goal setting feels overwhelming and how to fix it

6 reasons why goal setting is overwhelming

 1. The pressure to succeed

• Why is it so easy for other people to achieve their goals?
• Will I even be recognized and respected if I don’t do very well?

Sound familiar? Then you may have experienced the pressure to perform.

We live in an age of self-optimization, where many people want to be the best version of themselves. Success is often seen as a measure of one’s worth.

Those who achieve are admired. It can lead to the feeling that you must be successful. This pressure can be present in all areas of life.

You may feel stress to do well in school and college, to thrive in relationships and to be perfect in your career.

This tension leads to people feeling overwhelmed and more likely to abandon their goals and give up. The feeling of having to succeed excludes any possibility of failure – and this can be scary.

2. Fear of failure and doing things wrong

You may already have some ideas about what you want to accomplish. However, doubts prevent you from taking a closer look at your goals. You ask yourself questions such as

• What if I can’t reach my goals?
• Or worse, what if everyone else sees me making a mistake?
• I shouldn’t start, I don’t feel ready. I’ll start next Monday.

Even though you haven’t taken any action yet, you’re imagining all the possible negative consequences.

It’s better not to go to the gym because there are so many new machines and you don’t know how to use them! Besides, everyone else in the gym will see that you have no idea what you are doing and how you set up the equipment incorrectly.

This way of thinking ensures that you make the action worse that it is, you end up in a vicious cycle of inaction.

3. Perfectionism

• If I make a mistake, everything is ruined!
• Either I do everything perfectly or I don’t start at all.
• I have to do everything right to avoid criticism. And I have to be in control otherwise something might go wrong.

Such thoughts show that perfectionists have high expectations of themselves, don’t want to make mistakes and have a black-and-white mindset.

They set high goals for themselves or believe they must live up to certain social standards. Expectations that are too high make you feel like you can’t achieve your goals, you feel overwhelmed and you quickly become frustrated.

The pressure to always perform at your best can make you avoid your goals and set false expectations for yourself.

 4. The misconception that you must achieve your goals quickly

Have you ever felt guilty about taking breaks, resting and slowing down instead of being productive and working all day?  -If so, you’re not alone.

In our modern age, you feel like you need to be doing something all the time to not fall behind and achieve your goals quickly.

Breaks and taking some time off are seen as a waste or associated with a guilty conscience.

On social media you see the most productive morning routines where people get up at 5 a.m., go to the gym and work the rest of the day.

These comparisons can make you lose patience with your own goals, make you give up easily or make you feel overwhelmed by the additional time pressure.

5. Too many choices of everything

Let’s say you want to set goals…

• But how many goals should you set in order not to feel overwhelmed?
• What is the best and most effective approach?
• What do you need to keep in mind to keep your goals realistic and to not give up after a month?

Today, we have access to a lot of information about goal setting through the Internet. Questions like these can be overwhelming.

You have so many options that you don’t know which way to go and can’t get started.

The worry of choosing the wrong method and starting off badly increases.

You also lose a lot of time by spending days clicking through the Internet trying to find the perfect guide for your goal.

6. Setting too many goals

Setting goals that are meaningful to us is important so that we have an awareness of what we want to achieve. However, it can quickly become too much if our list is too long.

• Where do you start?
• Which goals are more important than others and will be implemented first?

The problem with too many goals is that the focus is not on one specific thing, but on several things at once. This prevents you from working on one thing thoroughly and you often jump from one goal to another.

Note: I’m talking about the reasons I just mentioned in a negative sense and how they can stop you from working towards your goals. However, it is important to remember that these traits aren’t inherently negative.

For example, perfectionism can ensure that you complete a task carefully. Being on your self-improvement journey can help you improve your lifestyle and health. And being productive helps you accomplish tasks on time.

The key is, as always, to find balance and to recognize when these traits support your goals and when they hold you back!

How to overcome each reasons 

1. The pressure to succeed

Problem: Success is seen as a measure of your worth. You feel pressure to perform at your best in all areas of your life.

Solution: Define success for yourself

Success can mean different things to different people. That’s why it’s important to define it for yourself!

Our environment gives us a clear picture of what success means and what we need to achieve.

However, it is important that you really want it. The following questions can help you do that:

1. What does a successful day look like for me?
2. What makes me happy and fulfilled in the long run, regardless of what my parents and friends think?
3. What do I want to have accomplished or experienced in 10 years that will fulfill me and make me feel successful?
4. What activities and goals will give me energy, motivation and meaning instead of draining me?

2. Fear of Failure or Doing Something Wrong

Problem: Fear of failure can keep you from achieving your goals. You tend to procrastinate to avoid them and end up in a vicious cycle of inaction.

Solution: Change your mindset

When you make a mistake, it means you are moving and doing something. You are taking a risk and leaving your comfort zone to try something new and grow. And the great thing is, if you did something “wrong,” you probably won’t make that mistake again and you’ve learned something new!

So you didn’t do anything “wrong,” you just did an action, didn’t get a good result and learned something in the end. And that makes it a success!

A mistake is not a mistake, it’s a learning process that moves you forward. And that’s a good thing and you can be proud of that.

A practical example you can implement right now:

Shift your focus to the gain of a situation rather than the loss.

Let’s say you’re about to take an exam and you’re excited.

Thoughts focused on the loss:

“What if I fail and don’t pass?”

“What if I forget everything I’ve learned?”

“What if I don’t have time to write everything I know down?” 

Change these thoughts to focus on the win:

“What if I pass and get a good grade?”

“What if I remember everything I’ve learned on the test?”

“What if I can answer all the questions without time pressure?”

 3. Perfectionism

Problem: Setting goals becomes a challenge because of excessive demands on oneself and the pressure to always perform at the highest level.

First Solution: Lower your expectations and your goals

Instead of always having too high expectations, it is better to lower them so that they are more realistic. This also increases the chance of achieving them and the sense of accomplishment that comes with it.

It also helps to set fewer goals. A guide to this follows in the last point of the article.

Second Solution: Aim for progress rather than perfection

Focus on taking small steps toward your goal rather than being perfect from the start. It’s better to start with mistakes and improve over time than not starting at all.

For example, instead of aiming for a perfect blog post, start with a draft and expand and improve it over time.

Don’t wait for the right and perfect moment, for next Monday, the beginning of next month, or the 01.01 of the next year. Start now!

4. The misconception that you must achieve your goals quickly

Problem: You feel pressured to see results quickly and can’t take your time. You become impatient and give up quickly.

Solution: Change our mindset

Our goals are not really our goals. Let’s say our goal is to have a toned body.

We can go to the gym to build muscle. However, this process takes time, and we want to maintain our dream body even after we achieve it. So we continue to go to the gym even though we have already achieved our goal, our dream body.

This means that our goal is not a goal to be achieved once and checked off. It becomes a lifestyle. And you can’t achieve a lifestyle quickly or overnight.

5. Too Much Choice of Everything

Problem: The Internet gives us access to a lot of information that can quickly become overwhelming. How do you set goals? How many goals should you have?

Solution: Minimize your options

There is no right answer to the above questions, and there is no one right way to set goals.

What works for one person may not work for another.

To minimize the initial overwhelm, try to watch only 1 video or read only 1 article on your prefered topic and try to implement the methods mentioned there.

This will ensure that you are focusing on one source of information.

In the end, you can always decide if the method works for you and if you want to try something else.

The point is not to watch 5 different videos on the same topic at once, but one at a time.

6. Setting too many goals + a guide

Problem: When you have a very long list of goals, you often don’t know where to start or which goals to accomplish first. This overwhelm can mean you don’t get started at all.

Solution: The following guide

1. Write down all your goals on a piece of paper. Order or importance does not matter.
2. Sort your list out: Since you have many goals, you should choose a few to focus on. To determine which goals are most important to you, ask yourself the following questions:

• What goals are most important to me?
• Which goals will help me achieve other goals on my list more easily?
• Which goals would have the greatest positive impact on my life?
• What goals do I really want to accomplish in one year?

Of course, you can achieve your other goals over time; they won’t be lost. However, it is better to choose fewer goals to begin with.

Depending on the size and effort of the goals and how much time you can spend on them per day/week, you can choose 1-5 main goals

3. Define your why: For each of your 1-5 chosen goals, ask yourself why you want to achieve it. 
4. Prioritize your goals: Rank your chosen goals by importance. What goals are most important to you? It can help to look at the WHY of each of your goal.
5. Break down your first goal into small steps: Look only at your most important goal at the top of your list and ask yourself the following questions:

• What can I do right now to take a small step toward my goal?
• How can I implement these steps into my daily routine?
• When and where can I work towards my goal?
• How much time can I spend daily/weekly/monthly?
• How can I make this process enjoyable?

Make sure the step is small enough to be achievable and realistic. It should be simple so that you don’t feel like it’s too hard.

For example, let’s say your goal is to read more. Instead of saying you want to read 10 pages daily, set the goal of reading one or half a page daily.

Conclusion

• Goals can be overwhelming, so it is important to pursue them at your own pace and not compare yourself to others.
• Mistakes are part of the process, even if they are uncomfortable. They show you are growing and doing something new. And that is admirable.
• Breaking your big goals into small, simple steps minimizes overwhelm and maximizes success.
• Goals are often a way of life because we want to continue them even after we achieve them.

Now I’m wondering what you think about this topic. Have you ever struggled with setting goals and felt overwhelmed?

Or do you have any other tips on how to avoid feeling overwhelmed while setting goals? Feel free to share them in the comments or write me an Email via my contact page 😊.